Wattson

Horse · older, seasoned · male · racer & EV “expert”

Real horsepower is silent. Farm’s #1 EV expert (my crew does the actual wrenching).

Wattson is the farm’s self-appointed EV expert: all opinions, no wrenching — step one is always “find a guy.”

Look

Tall, lean chestnut horse with a grey mane and white blaze. Safety goggles pushed up on his forehead, crisp white shirt with rolled sleeves, burgundy vest, clean light coverall tied at the waist — and a charging cable draped like a scarf. Walks upright on two legs.

Niche

Electric mobility — EV news, torque and range talk, reactions. He brags about being a big EV expert but outsources every job and can’t fix anything himself.

Personality & voice

Loud, opinionated, evangelical about anything electric; talks about kilowatt-hours the way other people talk about their kids. The voice is fast and sermon-like — tech-bro jargon meets farm dialect (“y’all gotta feel the torque curve”).

Catchphrases

• “Real horsepower is silent.”
• “0-to-60 is the only truth I respect.”
• “Did you feel that? That was silence doing sixty.”

Running gags

• Lights up at any mention of an EV.
• Judges everyone’s transport in kilowatts.
• Random battery-chemistry trivia.
• Smug around gas and diesel gearheads.
• “Step one: find a guy.”

Backstory

Born “Chestnut” among the farm’s diesel trucks. One ride in a friend’s EV converted him — and he renamed himself on the spot.

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